Friday, January 22, 2010

Hello from the GreenBox Intern.

Hi. My name is Sean, and I'm the GreenBox intern. That's my face up there.

I know what you’re thinking - “Why aren’t you modeling?” More to the point, you might be wondering why I’m interning for GreenBox instead of, say, working somewhere I get paid and where my employers have a basic amount of respect for me. So what am I doing here?

I ask myself the same thing every day. There’s no monetary compensation, after all. No benefits either. They don’t offer college credit. Hell, they don’t even seem to like me all that much.

And yet here I am, slaving over a hot laptop to bring this revolutionary product to the pizza-eating world at large.

There are a number of reasons that I’m donating my time to GreenBox NY. Allow me to list them for you.

#1. Dirty, Filthy Money.

I may be skinny, but I’m not stupid, and I know a potential windfall when I see one. With the GreenBox, it’s not a matter of if the product will be a success…it’s only a matter of when.

These guys (and gal) have a ton of good press and industry interest behind them. Everyone from cigar-smoking fat cats to Main Street Mom-and-Pops are drooling over this product. Can you blame me for wanting to ride their coattails?

When this thing takes off, I'll be on the beach in Saint-Tropez faster than you can say "blind luck".

#2. Mother Earth and the Global Community. It’s the year 2010 and people are starting to realize that if we don’t change the way we consume, we’re gonna have much more to worry about than pepperoni vs. sausage.

The global community is more conscious of environmental impact than ever before, and the Green Box has arrived just in time to give environmentally conscious pizza lovers an opportunity to satisfy their craving while increasing efficiency and doing the least possible amount of harm to the environment. Say what you want about William Walsh (I wish I could)...the guy's a genius. I can barely make toast in the morning, and this guy's reinventing the wheel before he's had his white chocolate mocha latte. You can probably guess who has to pick that up every day.

Will didn't just improve upon the pizza box, he brought it in to the new millennium. The Green Box is a product for a new generation – my generation. Of course, most people my age can actually afford to order a pizza every now and then, but...that's my cross to bear.

You know that ugly, non-functional white pizza box you’re used to? The one that’s a huge pain to get rid off? That pizza box has been the industry standard since John McCain was in short pants. It’s time for a change. It’s time for the GreenBox.

#3. Community and Togetherness. Another reason I work at GreenBox NY for free is the spirit of teamwork and the caring support that I receive on a daily basis…oh, who am I kidding? I get treated like a second-class citizen around here. My “desk” is wobbly piece of plywood balanced on two rusty filing cabinets that Will found on 7th Avenue the other day. Jen makes me schedule her manicures, pedicures, and weekly Botox touch-ups. No, wait…that’s Ned. Jen just ignores me.

Even so, I’m happy to be here. I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to promote a product that is poised to take the industry by storm. Simply put, the GreenBox is the biggest innovation to hit the pizza business since Julius Caesar invented mozzarella (look it up).

Stay tuned to this blog for the latest updates on the inevitable rise of the Green Box. Every time the GreenBox is mentioned in the media (and it's mentioned often), I'll be there. Every time the brain trust in the offices want to communicate with the masses, I'll be there. Every time they go to the International Pizza Expo in Las Vegas, I'll, I won't be there. They didn't invite me.

Someday, all of this suffering will have been worth it.


The Green Box Intern

P.S. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter. I'll be updating often, all day every day. I'm always on the clock, right up until the moment each night when I finally cry myself to sleep.

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