Friday, June 11, 2010

Back By Back-Handed Popular Demand

Ahem. Hello, everyone. It's the GreenBox Intern.

I haven't written a blog since March. It's June. Why the delay? Frankly, I had gotten the distinct impression that no one was reading the blasted thing, and that no amount of web-savvy cross-promotion was having the desired effect. Not even the legendary Shanghai Ping-Pong Technique (link to Twitter via Facebook, Facebook back to Twitter, fake-out to Facebook, double-somersault, back to Twitter, random Craigslist ad, big finish on Digg) was having any discernible effect on my readership levels.

The GreenBox itself is attracting more attention than ever, and remains poised to become the new industry standard; this blog, not so much.

I began to ask myself, "Is it worth it?" After all, I slave, nay, agonize over these entries; some of them take upwards of 12 minutes to compose! And if I decide to throw a picture in, we're talking about 15 minutes of my life down the drain! If you think I'm gonna make that kind of sacrifice on a regular basis without some kind of response (preferably adulation), you're dead wrong. Of the scant comments I've received on the blog, most have been from family members. Oh, and there was one that had to be censored for potentially offensive content. Not exactly an outpouring of support.

Just the other day I arrived at work only to have CEO William Walsh lay in to me for not posting a blog recently - because, he said, his daughter and her friends at school "love it". CFO Jennifer Wright mentioned that her siblings love the blog as well, and consider themselves devoted readers (as much as you can be devoted to a blog that issues new material about as often as Axl Rose).

I'm sure Ned would have offered similar moral support, but he was inhaling deeply from a container of filtered oxygen (yes, he has taken to purchasing canned air on a daily basis - I haven't asked why and I'm not going to).

I appreciated my colleagues trying to shore me up. Ok, I thought - that's all well and good, but those readers are related to employees here at ECOvention; they're sort of obligated to humor my sad little efforts at web publishing. But then it happened - a new reader emerged from obscurity to inspire me to new heights.

On the blog entry below, you will notice a comment from a shadowy figuring calling himself "Anonymous" - a chilling moniker, to be sure. Where did he come from? How did he find me? And, perhaps the most pressing question of all - what is he afraid of?

Though you might assume that Anonymous and I are at odds with each other (he fancies himself "the competition", after all), I am actually grateful to this John Doe of cyberspace, for one reason and one reason only - he seems to have read my blog despite the fact that we are not related to each other, neither by blood nor marriage nor employer! "Anonymous", I owe you so much - you have reinvigorated my faith in myself, in my journalistic efforts, and in humanity as a whole.

My faith in the GreenBox, on the other hand, has never wavered. We've been extremely busy here in the NYC offices over the past month or so: flexing the muscle of our national distribution deal with Roma Food/PFG, combing through the literally hundreds of emails from interested businesses and consumers, and having a handful of pretty serious meetings which, frankly, are none of your business - yet. All will be revealed as the GreenBox continues it's inexorable crawl across the face of the United States.

Pretty soon, you're not gonna be able to swing a dead cat without hitting a GreenBox. Mark my words.

In the meantime, I thought we might try to shift the focus a bit. The GreenBox is riding high on a wave of interest and publicity, while my blog festers in darkness and obscurity, unread, unloved, unacknowledged by the world at large. It hasn't really taken off, in others words - certainly not with anything like the ferocity of the GreenBox's current rise. So do me a favor: tell your friends, tell your family members (as long as they're not my family members), tell your colleagues, tell your parole officers...anyone and everyone you know, direct them to this blog and let's get a real community going.

Don't leave me here alone with "Anonymous". Just kidding, A-non - I love ya!


The GreenBox Intern


  1. You forgot to mention that Jennifer's mother is a faithful reader....